Supporting a loved one through mental health struggles can be challenging, especially when you feel unsure about the best way to help. As a counsellor based in Hackney, East London, I’ve seen firsthand how difficult it can be for families to navigate these situations. Mental health challenges often carry a sense of isolation and misunderstanding, which makes compassionate and informed support essential. Drawing on my experience and therapeutic approach, here are some key ways you can help a family member struggling with their mental health.
Start with Compassion and Understanding
When someone you love is struggling with their mental health, the first step is to approach them with compassion and understanding. It’s important to remember that mental health issues are not a choice or a weakness — they are complex challenges influenced by a range of emotional, psychological, and social factors. Instead of offering quick solutions, listen without judgment. Allow your family member to express their feelings openly without fear of being dismissed or misunderstood.
Active listening means being present and attentive. Put away distractions, make eye contact, and show that you are genuinely engaged. Simple affirmations like “I hear you” or “That sounds really difficult” can make a significant difference.
Educate Yourself About Mental Health
Understanding the nature of mental health conditions can help you respond more effectively. Take the time to research common mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, and PTSD. Learn about the signs, symptoms, and potential triggers, but remember that everyone’s experience is different.
Recognize that mental health struggles are not always visible. A person may appear to be coping outwardly while struggling internally. Educating yourself helps you avoid misunderstandings and equips you to offer more meaningful support.
Encourage Professional Help Without Pressure
While emotional support is crucial, professional help is often necessary for effective recovery. Encourage your family member to consider therapy or counselling but avoid pushing them if they’re not ready. You might say, “It might help to talk to someone about this — would you like me to help you find someone?”
As a counsellor, I know how important it is for clients to feel ready and comfortable before starting therapy. It’s not about forcing the decision but opening up the possibility. You could offer to research therapists together or even accompany them to an initial session if they feel anxious.
Maintain Boundaries While Offering Support
Supporting someone through mental health challenges does not mean sacrificing your own well-being. It’s essential to set healthy boundaries to prevent emotional burnout. Let your family member know you’re there for them but also communicate your own needs and limits.
For example, if you need time for yourself, say, “I really want to support you, but I need to rest tonight. Can we talk tomorrow?” Maintaining your own mental and emotional balance makes you better equipped to offer support.
Offer Practical Help
Sometimes, the most helpful thing you can do is provide practical support. Mental health struggles can make even basic tasks feel overwhelming. Offering to cook a meal, clean the house, or run errands can relieve some of that pressure.
Be specific when you offer help: “Would it help if I picked up some groceries for you?” or “Would you like me to sit with you for a while?” These gestures show that you care and that your support is more than just words.
Be Patient — Healing Takes Time
Mental health recovery is rarely linear. There will be good days and setbacks along the way. Avoid showing frustration if progress seems slow. Patience and consistency are key.
Celebrate small victories with your family member — even getting out of bed or attending a therapy session can be significant steps forward. Let them know that you’re proud of their progress, no matter how small it may seem.
Respect Their Autonomy and Choices
While you may want to protect your family member from further pain, it’s important to respect their autonomy. They might not always take your advice or follow the path you think is best — and that’s okay. Support them without trying to control their decisions.
For instance, if they decide to change therapists or explore alternative coping strategies, honour their choice. Trust that they are working through their process in their own way.
Take Care of Yourself Too
Supporting someone through mental health struggles can be emotionally draining. Don’t neglect your own mental health in the process. Consider speaking to a therapist yourself or joining a support group for caregivers.
Taking care of your own well-being allows you to show up more fully for your family member. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup.
Conclusion: Support is a Journey, Not a Destination
Supporting a loved one with mental health struggles is not about fixing their problems — it’s about walking alongside them on their journey. The goal is not to “solve” their mental health challenges but to provide consistent, compassionate support as they navigate their healing process.
As a counsellor in Hackney, I’ve seen how powerful it can be when families come together with understanding and patience. By listening, educating yourself, encouraging professional help, and respecting boundaries, you can create a foundation of support that fosters healing and growth. Remember, you are not alone in this — and neither is your family member.
References
- Weekes, P. (2025). Paul Weekes Therapy. Retrieved from https://paulweekestherapy.com
- Mind (2025). Supporting someone with mental health problems. Retrieved from https://www.mind.org.uk
- NHS (2025). How to support someone with a mental health problem. Retrieved from https://www.nhs.uk